Bereavement retreat
As the end of summer draws near, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for a leadership experience last month. I had the opportunity to participate in a bereavement retreat, specifically for guardians and caregivers of grieving children. The gratitude comes from the ability to hear the vulnerable and transparent stories of participants. I never take for granted the unspoken barriers that may cause individuals hesitancy about speaking in groups. The fear of opening up about deep pain or the inability to even find words for features of grief can prohibit many from attending a retreat setting. It can also be quite overwhelming to hear the stories of others. Whatever trepidations the attendees may have had, they brought their experiences to the space, and no one left the same.
Grief can bring up feelings of being out of control, extreme vulnerability, anger, guilt, relief and more. The ups and downs of losses was a unifying factor over the weekend. Participants freely shared their struggles managing personal grief but also worries for children who were reacting to death in different ways. Difficult conversations were brought up in breakout sessions and group gatherings but also a sense of hope. Fast forwarding to the end of our time together, many shared revelations of the ways they needed to care for themselves and were actively making plans to implement self-care at home. It was a powerful testament to the reminders that no one can be a helper without connecting to the people and things that strengthen, refuel and bring meaning in their grief journeys.
The Retreat weekend created opportunities for conversation but I especially enjoyed the bonds that were made through a variety of other ways. Shared stories brought laughter and tears but being around a fire making smores, eating meals together, sitting in silence with the glow of memorial candles, creating art, gazing at starlite skies and the beautiful lake all fostered deep connections to each other and nature. Individuals expressed sentiments of being at peace and feeling supported by all in attendance.
The adage states ‘no one can pour from an empty cup’ and I did take moments to reflect on my own grief stories. Remembering and connecting grounded me to the many reasons why I got into grief work. With self-care and treasured bonds, I continue to be purposed in the meaningful and honor filled position of guiding individuals in their grief journeys.
© Anchor Grief, 2024
