Grieving during the holidays

For many grievers, the end of a year brings mixed feelings. While it can be a time of creating new memories, participating in holiday festivities, and sharing traditions, it can also be a time of deep sadness, anger, and anxiety. All of the elements of a wonderful holiday are there…except for the person who died.

Grief can be full of transitions, often potently felt during holiday seasons. In support groups, we frequently speak about the value of self-care. It can be difficult to know where to begin and how to pinpoint what you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes people confuse self-soothing with self-care. Self-soothing acknowledges our need for comfort, warmth, and pleasure and self-care allows us to acknowledge our need for self-respect and self-connection.

Whatever you choose to do, be intentional about pausing and taking care of yourself on any given day. Want to relax after a long day? Small things like a warm shower, cup of tea, watching your favorite television show can help you feel more at ease. Need a break from your tasks? A long walk, turning off your phone for a bit, fitting in a nap are just some of the things that can be good for the body and mind. Drawing, going to a concert, or taking a course are other ways to check in with yourself.

Self-care can also be talking to a friend or journaling about your experiences. Grief looks different for everyone. The busy holiday season can lead individuals to share more about their person who died while others may process their grief silently. There is no one way to work through grief, just different approaches. Whatever your approach, I hope you take the time to do what is right for you.

© Anchor Grief 2022